i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
