weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize