he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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