my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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