come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
