guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
