At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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