I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
