I like my sex mixed with concussions.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have already put on my inside pants.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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