kristin has been a bad kristin
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
