just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize