Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How does one acquire holy water?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
