That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
