Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
