Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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