big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
