So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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