My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I don't think brook has ever known best
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
