it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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