omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize