"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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