I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
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