So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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