Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize