Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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