obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
