And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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