I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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