Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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