This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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