therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
