Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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