absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
