the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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