im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
