If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
