i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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