Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
