i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
