He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
