we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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