this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
The air taste purple.
Randomize
