At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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