So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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