have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
