I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
