JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
