Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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