it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
