someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
