She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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