Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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