dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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