Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
