I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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