she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
