Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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