Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
