I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
