Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize