Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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