Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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