just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize