no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize