it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
