she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she told me i tasted like america
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
