I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
