i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
