I'm eating all of the evidence.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize